The Secret Partnership
by Poptartfrog
Summary: Vegeta and Piccolo join forces in an attempt to take down Goku once and for all. Mwhahahahaha!!! ::cough choke:: ::dies::


Disclaimer: Do I own DBZ? Didn't think so. I don't even really wanna own it anyway. I wouldn't mind owning Vegeta though **;D**

Heh..this idea is based _somewhat_ on a gif I made pretty recently. Although, it isn't _really_ going to be anything like it, but it is where I got the idea from. If anyone cares to see it, go to my website here: 

http://www.angelfire.com/anime3/PTFswebsite/Pickandvegkillgoku 

I'm warning you, this fic is beyond stupidity. It's even dumber than my other fic, "Revenge of a Nappa". I may actually cross a line with this one as the story progresses. Please TELL Me if it gets too dumb. I want this fic to be funny, not retarded. Anyways, there will be quite a bit of oocness, but hopefully not to the point where it'll be annoying. I hate too much oocness as the next person, but for this fic, it's pretty much unavoidable. Vegeta and Piccolo are my favorite characters, (although Piccolo's in a _distant_ second) and I'm not very fond of Goku so the theme for this fic is just perfect! I always thought it was kind of annoying how Piccolo switched sides so quickly. I liked it better when he was a badguy..and as for Vegeta..hehe...well he **never** stopped trying to kill Goku really. (one of the many reasons why I like him) Like I said before, this was originally just a gif, but I thought I'd expand on it a bit more and make it into a story. Anyways, that's enough of my rambling. On with the fic!!! :D

Quote of the moment: They're finny and funny and oh so delish. They're joyful and jolly; Joker fish!!(Harley Quinn from Batman: The animated series)

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It was a BEAUTIFUL day on the planet earth and an even more _beautiful_ day in Japan. Butterflies glided cheerfully from flower to flower, and the sun's rays shone brightly over the Western Capital....but...that's not where our story begins...::looks at the script:: Oh wait a second, yes it is... Never mind...::Ahem::..Birds were singing, flowers blossoming, and basically everyone was just having a _dandy-jolly-good_-time!!! Anyways, everything may have seemed peaceful on the outside, but inside the building was an entirely different story....

"What the HELL are you doing woman?!!!!" "You're crazy!!!!"

Bulma was standing with her feet shoulder-length apart fully clothed in "army gear" aiming a machine gun she'd borrowed from Chi-Chi right at her husband's astonished face. She pulled the trigger and bullets flew in every possible direction, shattering and destroying everything in sight. Of course, none of them actually _hit_ Vegeta though. He was much too fast for them, but it was still pretty shocking to see Bulma behave in such a manner. She'd just gotten back from shopping with Chi-Chi and had apparently been "brain-washed" again. Goku's wife always managed to temporarily make Bulma think that Vegeta was evil and wasn't good enough for her. (HA!! more like the other way around **:P**) Bulma almost always came home pissed off and VERY touchy after having spent too much time with "the harpy".

"How dare you ignore me, you bastard!!!" Bulma screeched in that annoying voice of hers. "I've had it with you!!!" "Why can't you be a GOOD husband like **Goku**?!!" 

Poor Vegeta had _no idea_ what she was talking about. He'd just come in from a vigorous training session only to be faced with Bulma's abundant wrath. He hadn't even _done_ anything this time. Of course, being the kind of person he is, he didn't try to _reason_ with her. He simply followed his instincts....he fought back. 

"Wha..?" "How **DARE** you compare me to that imbecile!!" he yelled, knocking the gun out of her hand. "Insolent bitch!!" 

"Get out of my house, Vegeta!!" she screamed angrily, pointing to the door. "Get out and don't come back until you're ready to apologize!"

"Apologize for WHAT?!!!"

"Just get OUT!!"

"Fine, I'll leave," Vegeta stated in a surprisingly calm and controlled manner. "But I'm not coming back until YOU apologize to ME." Then without a second glance, he walked out of the building and left the compound entirely. 

It took a few moments, but after awhile, Bulma's temporarily deranged mind _slowly_ came back to reality. A small gasp escaped her lips as she realized what had just happened. He hate-filled eyes softened and then her face took on a look of absolute mortification. She flopped down on the couch and hid her face in a her hands. "Oh great," she thought mournfully. "I don't want to have to apologize to him." "He looked pretty mad before he left." "I wonder if he'll even come back." She fretted over it for awhile but then relaxed when she remebered that Vegeta had nowhere else to go. "He'll come back," she thought confidently. "He always does." "MWHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!" (ummm ooooooookaaaaaaaaay...o-O;; ::cough:: Psycho ::cough cough::)

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"Piccolo-saaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!!"

In the middle of a nearby forest, a large Namek stood hiding behind a tree. His teeth were clenched in annoyance and he was trying desperately to keep his frustration in check. "What IS it with this kid?" he thought angrily. "Why won't he just LEAVE ME ALONE?!!" "I haven't had a moment's peace in weeks!!"

"Piccolo-san?!!!"

The large warrior growled softly as he moved to the other side of the tree to keep Gohan from seeing him. _Just perfect! How am I going get out of this mess?_ He stood there in silent contemplation for a few moments wondering what to do. After a while, he finally settled on a simple trick he'd tried before...only when **nothing** else would work. "That Gohan may be a strong Sayian warrior," Piccolo snickered evilly. "But he's also a Momma's boy." Clearing his throat, Piccolo put on his best "Chi-Chi" imitation and threw his voice in the direction of Gohan's house. "GOHAN!!!!" he screamed shrilly. "Come home THIS instant!!"

Startled, the young demi-Sayian whirled around and looked nervously towards his house He gulped loudly and finally shouted back, "I'm lookin' for Mr. Piccolo, Mom!!" "I'll be there in a minute."

Visibly forcing himself to calm down, Piccolo put on the facade again and screamed back angrily. "Damnit Gohan, leave Demon King Piccolo ALONE." "He wants to be left _alone_ with his thoughts!!!" 

"Demon King Piccolo?" Gohan murmured confusedly. (...is that even a word?)

"You are always bothering him all the time!!" Piccolo continued indignantly. "Just back off for awhile!!" "...And besides...er..you've homework to do anyway," he added hastily after a moment or two.

Sighing, Gohan turned around. "**Dad**, would have _never_ ditched me like that," the half-sayian mumbled bitterly. He gave the forest one last glance, before racing back home.

Piccolo breathed a massive sigh of relief as he watched his young student leave. It wasn't that he didn't _like_ Gohan. He did enjoy spending time with him, but the boy could be very annoying sometimes. Gohan had been bothering him ALL day long, and when Piccolo had finally said that he'd had enough and was going home, Gohan actually had the gall to follow him. He refused to take no for an answer!! From HIM!! The _Demon King_ of the Underworld. And on another note, why the Hell was Gohan comparing him to that idiot Goku anyways? He growled in annoyance and headed further into the woods, fuming over his one-time rival.

(AN: okay...now this next part's kind of wEiRd, but I like it so I wanted to keep it in. Just imagine both Vegeta and Piccolo walking through the woods towards one another, unknowingly finishing each other's sentences. ***** :P)

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"How dare that bitch compare me to Kakarot."

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"How dare that brat compare me to Goku."

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"Damn woman." 

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"Stupid kid."

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"Why can't she ever just..."

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"Shut-up." Doesn't know when to quit..." 

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"bitching at me." "Everyday it's the same.."

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"damn thing!!" "Do this Piccolo." "Do that..."

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"Vegeta." "When it comes right down to it, this is all..."

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"Goku's Fault." "That stupid idiot .."

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"Kakarot..." "Super Sayian or no.."

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"Super Sayian." "I'm gonna kick his.."

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"Peasant ass!!" 

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Both Vegeta and Piccolo were so wrapped up in their one-sided conversations, that they weren't even paying attention to their surroundings, and promptly smacked into one another. Blinded by rage, they both looked up angrily and shouted in unsion.

"WHY DON"T YOU WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING?!!!"

Claming down considerably, Piccolo allowed himself one stunned blink before narrowing his eyes in annoyance. "Oh, it's just you," he stated indifferently. "What are you doing here Monkey-boy?"

"I could ask you the same question Green-bean," Vegeta countered, getting to his feet.

Piccolo shrugged slightly before answering. "I'm not really doing anything." "I just had to..get away from the Son's for a while." "I guess I've just been spending too much time over there." 

Vegeta just raised an eyebrow and barely even looked at the larger warrior. "Oh?" "Well, What **I'M** doing here is none of your business, Namek," he replied tersely.

Piccolo smirked a bit, something that was pretty rare for him nowadays. "Had another fight with Bulma, didn't you?" he said mischievously.

The Prince's eyes widened slightly. "How did you..?" 

"I know all about you and Bulma." 

"Who told you?!!"

"Nevermind, It isn't important how I know." "Don't worry about it; I won't tell anybody."

Vegeta growled loudly but said nothing. They stood there in silence for a good few minutes until Piccolo's curiosity got the better of him and he had to ask, "What did the two of you fight about anyway?"

Vegeta didn't appear to hear his question, or if he did he seemed to be ignoring him. Piccolo was about to give up on him, but turned back around when the Sayian answered suddenly. "She was just being a bitch as usual." "She was comparing me to that goody-goody Kakarot."

"You're kidding?"

"No..."

'Well...Gohan was just comparing me to Goku earlier too."

"Well isn't that nice."

The Prince's sarcasm was completely lost to Piccolo, who was currently trying to figure how such a coincidence could take place.

"Vegeta, this is really weird..." "So you're mad at Goku because Bulma was comparing you to him?"

"Don't be absurd." "I don't care about what that woman thinks."

"I'm pretty mad at Goku right now too," Piccolo relented. "He's been getting on my nerves more and more lately." "Ya know Vegeta....I originally wanted to **kill** him."

Now the last statement seemed to get the Sayian's attention. His gaze slowly meet Piccolo's and an amused smirk slowly crossed his tense features. "Oh really?" "What made you change your mind?"

"I never really DID change my mind," Piccolo answered after a moment. "I still want him dead." "That bastard's too damn strong for his own good." "He never looses." "I think it's starting to get to his head." "He could really use a good ass whooping."

Vegeta laughed out-right after that last comment, unable to stop himself. He chuckled a bit and still had an evil smirk on his face when he was through. "I've never seen this side of you before, Piccolo," he commented bemusedly. 

"I used to be just as bad as you," the Namek continued, beginning to feel like his old self again." It was actually the appearance of you and your stupid partners that forced me to switch sides." 

"I see," Vegeta offered after a moment.

"So...what do you say we join forces?" "We'd make a great team." "Together you and I can take down that idiot Goku once and for all."

"....I've yet to reach the level of Super Sayain." "He's much stronger than both of us combined."

"That doesn't matter." "He may be stronger now, so we'll just have to outsmart him."

"Well.....now that Nappa's gone I guess I could use a good right-hand man...or..asexual..or whatever the hell you are."

"Just think of me as a guy." "I am for the most part."

"I don't want to know any details about your anatomy, Namek."

"Alright already." "So you wanna be partners then?"

"........"

"Aw come on Vegeta, Deal?" Piccolo asked, offering the Sayian a green hand.

"Ewww." "What the Hell did you do that for?"

Piccolo was standing about a foot away, a grimace plainly evident on his features, after having ripped off one of his arms. He held it out for Vegeta with a smile, as if expecting him to take it.

"That's disgusting." "Why the f*ck did you do that?!!"

"Wha?" "Isn't this how a person offers his hand in friendship?"

"That's just an expression, idiot."

"Oh," Piccolo replied, tossing the green limb to the side. "Doesn't matter, I can just make another one." He clenched his jaw shut and after a moment a new arm popped up, as if by magic.

"You are such a freak."

"At least, I don't turn into King-Kong at the sight of a full-moon."

"Whatever." "Are we gonna join forces or what?"

"Sure."

"Okay, so we're partners now?

"Looks that way."

"Fine."

"Good."

"..Shut-up."

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An: Well, that's the end of the first chapter to my Vege and Pickle fic. As if you really needed me to tell you that...well anyway, please review and tell me what you think. Was this chapter even funny? I thought it was.. sort of.... but the important question is, What do you guys think? And as always, any suggestions about what you think should happen in the story are welcome!! **:D**


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